Nobody

Update...

2006-02-14T15:09:41Z

Okay, I admit it's not the best picture. It was taken on a camera phone. See my Mohawk? :-p had to cut it off though, looking for a job.

Okay, Raiza came on the eighth. The parents and I got there at approximately ten of two. Two busses were already at the station and we had to keep circling looking for a place to park, and then they finally let me out. I was so nervous and I had no idea what I was going to do or say.

So I get around the busses and I'm standing there staring at the crowds when I saw her. And then I froze... And just stood there staring at her. I knew it was her but I was so anxious I couldn't go to her. I managed to take a step forward and she said goodbye to her bus buddy then started to head over. She is about five ten, and she was wearing boots with like, four inch heals.

I'm thinking; "Okay, what should I do? Say something cheesy? Hug her? Kiss her? No I can see dad out of the corner of my eye... hmm... DEAR GD! SHE'S TALLER THAN I AM!"

She wasn't though, but in those boots she came within an inch or two, I swear! I ended up hugging her as best I could. Hey, I'm a freak who was never on the giving end of a hug before, and she had a big backpack on. I'm justified. :-p And I said something cheesy. Honestly can't remember what it was. Not something like "Welcome to Frederick, wanna tour" but something loving and would probably make you, the reader, laugh your ass off. But it seemed right, and she liked it.

Then we went to this place where dad had prior engagements and we walked around for a bit, managed to get a few minutes alone... Then we went to eat. lol

Then we came home. She stayed here for several days then left. bah, all my writing went into the intro then flustered out as I really miss her now. *Pouts*

Jack,

Eh?

2006-01-15T22:36:16Z

Raiza visited for the week it was fun. :-)

Really miss he being around though, more later.

Someone was on my LJ acount without my knowledge, today I was informed I needed to change my pass. *Sigh*

Gotta see what damage they did...

Jak

Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god.

2006-01-08T04:22:37Z

I can't sleep! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh

I have to get up at six to go shopping, getting ready for Raiza!!!

She'll be here at Two! WOOT! I have stuff I need to get, quite a bit of things actually. *Jumps up and down* And I'm unbelievably hyper!

Talking to her right now. She feels like she's been running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Man... I feel like the chickens head, laying there in the dirt twitching trying to decide what the hell to do next and watching the farmer molest it's body and then... I'm rambling, think I'm going insane!

oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god! *Hyperventilates and passes out*

Nope, not that lucky... Still awake.

Mmm, thinking about her...

Damn... I love her. O.o

Jack... The recently sane...

Yeah, I've gone sane, she's a bad influence...

Yeah...

2006-01-05T20:49:22Z

Been really busy lately. Been cleaning, spending moms money, etc. OKay, update... Update update update... I'm getting a new computer, gamming computer, hella fast with a wireless router. Yeah... Heh, thats good. Um...

Me and Raiza had a fight... It was bad... But she's still comming Sunday, we're going to work everything out then. And we've got a week to be together. I'm really looking forward to it...

Update, 'tis that time of year...

2005-12-20T17:58:37Z

Okay, I know I haven't had a real update in forever, so I'll try to work everything out real quick.

Today mom and I are going to another town to collect money that Mom won in a contest. Something like $32,500. Yeah, I'm ahppy and all, except I wont be spending ANY of it. *Eye roll*

Okay, heh... I am fine, Kamon was sick yesterday but he is back to normal now. :-) the dogs are fine, parents are fine, lalala.

The real updates.

Amanda, haven't hung out with her in a few days, found a place we can play pool for free though. So I'm trying to learn how to play. :-P Um, Amanda seems happy with what's'name my cuison. Uh, think thats all... She dyed her hair again.. lol

Amanda/Surreal, Haven't even seen her to say hello since my last Update about her. o.O

Ijeoma, Jeo, jeo jeo, wierd Friendship we have, And she isn't doing so hot as I mentioned ina previous post. We've been friends since PR, Pheonix Realm to you non-Role Players. Anyway, I Role PLayed with her quite a bit in EC, Enchanted Castle, but she stopped comming in, and I stopped socialsing with that many people on EC. An... now I talk to her about once a month...

Wendy, Wendy is complicated, and I know she is going to read this, or atleast there is a good chance of it, so I'll be nice. :-p Actually I'll end it here, after saying that It seems possible, and I would like to be friends again, possibly hang out sometime.

*Tries to remember other people besides Raiza*

Angel/Courtney, Nothing there anymore, she doesn't even talk to me... Don't blame her really, I wouldn't talk to me eaither. :-p

I don't think I mentioned very many people to begin with...

Kriss, I haven't spoken too in forever.

And Kida/Chris, We chat now and then, but never really have anything to talk about.

Raiza, Heh, this will take awhile.

She is going to Peurto Rico, I know I spelled that wrong... I think... Anyway, she is going tomorrow. Man, I miss her allready. Probably wont be able to talk to her today, she said she was going to call me tomorrow, think I'll call her tonight so we can talk today aswell. Hope she isn't asleep when i call. Anyway, she is still comming in january, the eighth. Can't wait. :-D

Hmmm... My mind is blank, what else to day? Ah, yes.. I LOVE YOU RAIZA! :-D

And, I have to go like ten minutes ago.

I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date!
The Rabbit,
Jack,

Fa la la la la... la la la la

2005-12-12T00:03:14Z

Merry christma- oh, it's not christmas? Update later.

Life, Lufe, Lofe, and assorted mispellings

2005-12-10T02:42:45Z

Hung out with Amanda tonight, left her to go eat her sub,s he was cold.

Talking to Raiza and Ijeoma. Don't know if I've mentioned Ijeoma on my posts or not. I'll check later, if not I'll get around to doing an update about her later.

Ijeoma is so upset now, seems to have had a crap life since we really talked...

Um, what else? Rented two movies... might watch them tonight, or might go to bed with Raiza soon. I AM sleepy...

Eh... Whatever.

Jack

Ah, whats new?

2005-12-05T15:16:45Z

Got the Bass I've been wanting, Hmmm... Think thats the best thing to happen. :-p Felt I should make an update, but don't really feel like making one... Um, merry chrismis? :-p

Don't have to much new...

2005-11-18T16:19:16Z

You were betrayed. You were betrayed by someone
very close to you in a past life and you have
still never forgotten it. Either you were
killed by a best friend or ratted out by one,
but it still hurt you very deeply and you don't
trust hardly anyone anymore.

How did you die in your past life? (for everyone)
brought to you by Quizilla

How about an update?

The other day, yesterday unless my mind's clock is screwed up again, I went onto Yahoo on my dad's acount. Sneaked his password one day when he was loggin in, just to have something to do. My dad belongs to a Yahoo groups board, so I got on their and looked at pictures.

A few years ago I hung out with alot of Pagans, had alot of people I called friends. Wendy, you're one of them, remember? Of course you do. Only reason i ever hung out with Rob was because you were around. :-p

Anyway, I was looking at these pictures. Rituals, random peoples just walking around. I saw alot of people I knew, an started to day dream about how things were then. I was a collosal prick, so anti-social it was hard to breathe 'round so many people. I think Wendy actually started to break me of that, the trip to Six Flags she took me on was the beginning, I think.

But, I decided I was going to try to get my contacts back with some of these people, starting, of course, with Wendy. Added her to YIM and just left her a message. Her earlier comments said she wanted to try our friendship again, well... lol

Um, what else? *Thinks* That hurts, okay, what else?

Oh, Wendy, one of those pictures looked like Sati was pregnat! Whats goin' on there? I'll ask ya on YIM later.

Um, thats it I think...

Love Raiza. :-p

Jack,

Guess what?

2005-11-16T17:38:21Z

I need to update, but have nothing new to say, So...

I Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooove Raiza!

Eh

2005-10-21T07:24:49Z

You are VINCENT. Remember to clean the cobwebs off
your coffin once in a while- first impressions
are lasting!

What Final Fantasy VII character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Heh, okay. :-)

Anyway, I know I haven't posted in forever, I've been busy lately. Um.. Lets see, right now I've not much to do anymore. I just cleaned my upstairs apartment, ledt an offline message for raiza, and hugged my dog. I think I got all my bases covered...

New, Amanda might actually do something about Billy being an ass! *Gasp* I hate being mean to her, but sometimes she is stupid, and she allways lets him walk all over her. I only hope she has finally gotten so fed up that "I'm sorry, look here's a pretty present, lets go fuck" wont be enough. And speaking to her, it apears it might. And on top of that I hope she plans to stay single, think it out before getting on with another relationship.

Nothing else is really new, keep having reaccuring dreams. Seriously, three dreams. If I don't have one or the other, it's the other. Or I don't have one atall. Don't want to talk about the dreams, one of them is so depressing and scary at the same time I wake up every time I have it. One is more of a memory than a dream, it repeats, small things changing. And the other is a nightmare I had as a kid, back before I knew what Claustraphobia was. Though, I still can't spell it. Heh, the shrinks would have a field day with my dreams, glad I don't have them anymore.

Um... other than all that? Hm... Was looking at wedding rings, I know, getting way ahead of myself here... But.. Can't help but look. Silly me...

Oh, going to get my GED, allready studying for that, and then I might be going to FCC. A community college, for classes. I had been against taking classes, as they cost money and we don't have any, it's even worse now. did I mention mom and dad totalled the car? Boy, still owed like eight thousand on it. Insurrance brought it down to about two. Anyway, then one day someone mentions my college fund, WHOA! I have a college fund? Damn, if anyone had told me I'd have taken all the classes I was interested in. Close to ten thousand dollars for my education and nobody thought to mention it, just letting me say "No, we haven't the cash" Damn, gotta wonder how smart you have to be to be a parent, isn't there a tes you have to take? Sheesh...

And I'm wired... O.o

Heh, I love Raiza. :-)

Jack,

Eh, anyway.

2005-10-07T01:16:55Z

Yeah, I finally got Raiza's birthday card in the mail the other day. Parents wouldn't even tell me they all ready picked it up until I was ready to ride across town to check the post office.

*eye roll*

Anyway, I got her card. She is a good artist, cute little Anime Chibi guy up in the corner. I know this is stupid, but she has to most beautiful handwriting, not flowing script or anything, but... Somehow wonderful. Feel like an idiot saying that. :-p

She sent me three pictures with the card, one of them was blurred, but they are still all three awesome. All very nice pictures of her. And all day today, I got the card yesterday, I've been staring at her pcitures. Whenever I got mad or upset or anything I'd take them out and look at them and then be happy. I would just smile and go back to doing what I was doing, untill I felt I had to look aagin. Which I did.

Um... Heh, seems my entire post is a testiment of love for the most beautiful and wonderful woman in the world, so be it. :-)

Figure you should get an update...

2005-10-05T05:35:31Z

Dominant Personality: Solitude

Good Traits: You don't need people to hype
up your self-esteem. You take care of yourself,
and don't follow the crowd. You're unique.

Bad Traits: You don't have many (if any)
friends. People aren't going anywhere and you
have to learn to handle social situations.
There are people out there who understand you.

People see you as: Lonely, extremely quiet,
and unfriendly. You are never seen around other
people, and you don't talk that much. People
think you're too selfish in that you don't take
the time to make friends.

You're Most Like: Confusion. You wish you
had the answers to everything. The difference
is that you keep it to yourself, and express
yourself in a different way.

You Need More: Grace. You probably walk
around with your head down. You need to hold
your head high and face the world head on. Be
more assertive, but not to the point of
aggresiveness.

What's your dominant trait? (10 unique results)
brought to you by Quizilla

Ah, I'm writing again. Okay, really don't know what to say anyway.

Okay, yadda yadda, random stuff. Um, DSL and Raiza, the two things that keep me grounded. :-p

Hmmm, really don't know what to say, again... Ah, damn I love that woman. Think I've been spelled, she cast a spell on me, a love potion! Hmmm, fun potion I'll need to thank her supplier. :-p

Reminder

2005-10-01T19:55:34Z

I need to post again, maybe if I write this now I'll see it and write when in a writing mood. o.O

Eh, cool.

2005-09-22T01:29:29Z

I honestly think james might be a friend of mine. *Gasp* I know, that boosts the count up to two, Count them, TWO. The most I've ever had at once. Amazing huh? James is a goof sometimes, but I often get the feeling that if one were a good friend he'd really open up and be a serious person somewhere inside him, like most are. Him and Amanda have some drama together, but aside from once I try to keep my nose out of that.

Anyway, Amanda and James came over today to hang out, James was supposed to bring his X-Box controllers, but he left them at school. hope his friend grabbed them like he thinks he did, if not... We left around five to go to the archery club to get food, Brought James, we both ate a chicken and walked around talking about Halo.

Raiza Smashed her arm in the car door, Oh my god I felt so sorry I wasn't there to talk to her when it happened. Her wrist swelling up, in pain, I felt like sucha prick. Appologize like fifty times untill she got sick of hearing it, but... I love her so much... She got mad because a friend of mine is just short of obbessed with me, or so it seems like on her LJ, she read it and got really upset. Since I was on the phone she took it out on me. It's okay, I love her and I'd take any verbal harrasment she had, I knew she wasn't really mad at me, but just had to vent. I'll live, and maybe grow wiser because of my experiences... Or I'll go to bed and forget. *Sigh*

Eh

2005-09-21T16:37:07Z

I don't feel like writing all of this down...

I met James, a friend of Amandas. He's cool, might have another firned in real life.

Yeah, thats the short version. Me and Raiza had an upsetting moment, but I think it's over. I went to call her, but figured she'd be in class. Don't want to upset her day.

Still expecting her in january, thank god.

Nothing else to really say, james might be comming over later, More later.

A good day.

2005-09-16T11:43:35Z

Today, is a good day. It is my birthday, for one. I am seventeen years old today. Glee. And, on top of it, I got on my acount today, and before I could even open juno, MSN and Yahoo instant messengers logged on. Which tells me? I INSTALLED THE DSL RIGHT LAST NIGHT!

Okay, we were installing it, hooking up my sexy black modem. :-p In installed it, and it got to a window, saying it was testing our computers configuration, this took an hour before I went to bed, not knowing if it would work or not. Apparently, it did. And I is happy.

No drama this time!

2005-09-10T22:20:22Z

Parents filled out for DSL, going to take awhile to get though. Atleast a week before we have everything set up. Hmmm, don't know what else to say about it...

Lifes new rule, lie to those you care for because the truth hurts?

2005-09-10T10:49:33Z

Amanda read my journal again, saw my last posts. She was almost calm before that, we had been speaking, then she get very mad again. We talked more, and then I left. Got ahold of her again yesterday, we tried to calm everything down, and agreed to meet later that day. he brother was comming to visit, so it would be later, around five. She got ahold of me about three, and told me that her and her borther were going to come later, between nine and ten. Then at about eight, fifty, she called again. They weren't comming, maybe today.

I don't want to be rude to Amanda, and I'm beginning to realize it wasn't her fualt. But it seems that if we make plans that don't involve words like; "I'll be there in five" or "Just let me take a shower and I'll be down" but instead use words like; "Later today" or "In a few hours" we wont get together. When the plan to get together stretched more than half an hour, she almost allways calls and extends the time period. Then eventually calls and says she isn't comming.

Sometimes I get mad at her for that, like yesterday. I spent all day, ALL DAY from when she told me at nine to when she called saying she wasn't comming at eight fifty, cleaning my apartment, and making sure everything was in proper order. Not that it mattered, dog got up there and chewed up a trash bag and it doesn't even look like I did anything in the dinning room. But still, It made me mad that she called it off at the last minute, i don't think i've ever done that to anyone.

It doesn't matter though, I'm over it. If we are to remain friends I've got to get used to having plans cancled, just don't work so hard on anything anymore when it comes to her.

Amanda

2005-09-08T19:21:11Z

I made a mistake, was talking toa friend about my situation with Raiza. A situation that we managed to sort out. And I sent her the link for my live journal. My friend, Amanda, is mentioned here. I mentioned how our friendship seemed faked on her part, or words to that affect. She was rather pissed when she spoke to me about that.

She began to ask me several questions, and I answered every single question turthfully. She got even madder at me, and then began to ignore me. I tried to appologize, but got an unspoken "Fuck you, you hurt me" in reply. I got offline, upset with myself, and her, and my situation with Raiza. Raiza had promised to call me in a few hours, and I went upstairs tog et away from my parents and wait for her call. Somewhere in me I hoped Amanda would come to my house, come in and either confront me or appologize, she didn't.

I woke up at three in the morning, a message on the answering machine, Raiza. I must have slept right through the ringing phone. Anyway, I spoke to her again today, this morning before she went to school. I think we worked out our problems.

Amanda got on a few minutes ago, she said she isn't mad at me, still wants to attend my birthday party at a chinese buffet in frederick, but won't appologize. Whatever, I've to much tot hink about to care if she appologizes or not. Not in a bad way, of course. But I need to reconsider our friendship, try to decide what it means to her, what it means to me, and wether or not it would be best for both of us to continue it, if I think it isn't genuine. She was rather pissed that I suggested it wasn't though...

Oh, and Kida's name, is christine. I think.

No idea...

2005-09-07T19:24:50Z

I have no idea what is going on right now.

Let me start from the beginning and lay everything down clearly, as best I can.

I started out this day pretty early. Way early for me, about seven in the morning. Anyway, when I got on I was on a few minutes when Raiza got on. She was going to get ready to go to school. We spoke about an hour or so. Then she left to go to school and I went back to listening to an audio book. Thena friend of mine got on, I'm ashamed I can't remember her name so we will call her Kida.

I spoke to Kida for a few hours, even downloaded the new version of Yahoo Instant messenger so she could view my webca. Rare that I let anyone view my cam, even more rare that it's anyone but Raiza. But, whatever. We spoke for a few hours, kida and I, and then she had to go.

Then Raiza got back on, we spoke for a bit using our microphones. She made the comment that Yahoo had made my voice sound like a girls, and then I made the joke that i WAS a girl. She took that to heart and was silent for awhile, then asked if I was a guy. I was put off, it was stupid. She knows I'm a guy, it's obvious. I said yes, but I guess my voice betrayed the fact I was put off, and she got upset. Her being upset, upset me, and then dad got home and wouldn't shut up.

We started getting equally more upset over nothing, dad was pissing me off, yadda yadda yadda. Something that stupid left me wondering if I still had her, and now, as I still try to sort this all out with her, I wish I knew the answers to one of two questions.

How to make her happy again?

Or how to make a hangmans noose.

Birthday soon

2005-09-05T00:43:49Z

Just got up a few minutes ago. don't really know what I'm going to type here today, nothing really big has happened, except my cat died. Some asshole swerved off the road and hit him... I honestly wish I knew who it was... Then again, Maybe it's a good thing I don't. I know alot of people who tell me they hit stray cats on purpose, going to try not to hit those people, because some asshole hit MY cat.

Eh, Mom and dad buried him. I, Like I allways do when such things happen, slept through the burial, dry eyed. Think I might be sick or something, since Alahna was put down I haven't been able to cry at anything, physical pain, or emotional.

As the title implies I've a birthday soon. Less than two weeks, probably sleep through that one too. Though I was considering a party at a very nice Chinese Buffet in Frederick. we go there for special ocassions, and except for the waitresses singing to me, I think it would be a good idea.

Eh, Again I'm at a loss as to what to say. Wendy contacted me through here, asking if we could try being friends again. I didn't even know she checked my posts anymore. But she also said Rob asked about me. That was a bit of a shock, I haven't seen, heard from, or thought about Rob since about a month before life started to get good. Hell, neither he nor Wendy would recognize me now if I walked up and said something.

But I could never be friends with Rob. My temper is harder toc ontrol these days, and I've mostly stopped caring. I can see Rob right now clutching a bloody nose because he wouldn't shut up, or kept telling me to. Ha, his parents would love that, probably expect it to, or so his dad told mine one day.

Today is the first day I've had a chance to speak to Kriss in awhile, so not much to report about her.

Raiza is at a BBQ, ecpect her back 24:30-01:00 and then I might post on here again, depending on what happens.

Amanda has been busy, not really seen her in awhile. Seems all she does is use me to have someone to vent to, and then avoid me for a month. I don't mind. a months sleep, two hours of being witha "Friend" a months sleep.. *Sigh*

I'm back, or so I assume.

2005-09-01T03:50:10Z

I know I haven't posted in a long time but that is going to change soon. I'm going to delete all other posts, if I can, and then start this journal anew. Shall do that tonight.

Life is actually been pretty good to me lately. I have dropped my apathetic shield, deciding it's better to just hit the asshole and make 'em shut up, then to stand there and take it. Heh, a good friend of mine got on today, and started throwing hints at me. I've NEVER been good with hints; I always read them incorrectly. You know the sort, Girl winks at you and you ask her number? Turns out she had a hair in her eye. : -P

Though, personally, I've never gone through that myself.

Anyway, My friend got on and was throwing hints at me. Now, bare in mind, I consider this girl, Kriss, a very good friend. Despite us having met less than a month ago I count her as one of my best friends. I have few enough of them these days. Anyway, turns out Kriss has a crush on me. Anyone who has read my earlier posts will know this happens a lot to me. I don't suck up to anyone; I just act the way I am. Where as, if they were here, they'd stare at me for a minute then leave. :-)

I had to turn Kriss down, and I felt like a real asshole doing so, but I'm in a relationship with another Friend, Raiza. This seems to be going VERY well. It is a long distance relationship, but we have a visit planned in January, had to wait for a vacation to see each other. Anyway, I spoke to Kriss for a few hours, then she left, then she got back on, and then left and then got back on, and now she has left again. This time she didn't say goodbye. And every time she gets on she acts more and more distant when we first begin to talk, then she loosens up.

She sent me a link to her live journal, for her sake I won't post her name on here, and I went to take a look at that. She has some relationship problems, and her life kind of sounds like mine! Heh, poor her...

Of the people I've mentioned before, and new friends.

Wendy, I haven't spoken to her in real life in about... Two years? And I haven't spoken to her online in months. I did a yahoo list wipe, and I'm sorry to say her name was one of those to go. I check her live journal now and then and she seems perfectly happy. I'm glad of that, and my prayers, for what they are worth, go with her.

Amanda, I don't really talk to Amanda a lot anymore, and I'm afraid it's going to turn out like Wendy. We used to talk a lot, but then she met Isaiah, Isaiah was also a person that Kriss liked before he met Amanda. When she met him almost all conversation died. Now I say hello to her when I see her on, which is rare.

Amanda, A different Amanda. My Cousin Billy's Girlfriend. She is my only Real life friend. Just hung out with her today, in fact. But sometimes I believe she hangs out with me purely because she is piteous of me.

Raiza, Raiza is the woman I'm in a relationship with. Yes I use the word "Woman" because she is older than I. Then again so is Kriss. I don't think most people seem to remember I'm only seventeen, and I'm not that until the sixteenth of September. Anyway, Raiza and I met each other at PR, an online role play website. She had no real interest in me, and then we went to EC, another site. We became friends and when she had to break up with her boyfriend for various reasons, I was the only one there with a shoulder for her to cry on. And relationship developed from there.

Kriss, Already spoke of Kriss, but it would be rude not to mention her here. So, Read above. : -P

And that’s all, really. Eh, now I am at a loss. I had come on here to post, but I see now that I did post, obviously.

Got to say, some people, Like me, are dumb sometimes. : -P

Goodnight, might post again before I go to bed, if anything develops.